I can't believe that I am writing this. I couldn't believe the direction when it came. But two hours later I have successfully navigated all the actions required to fulfill Higher Power's will that I share my thoughts in a blog format. You see, I have recently undergone a spiritual awakening. It is not as I imagined it would be. I was not made instantly smarter, richer, or more popular. I didn't get what I wanted or even what I asked for. Nothing happened, there was no warning, no story to relate. But everything, absolutely everything, is different. The only indication in my journal is a number one, circled, as in "Day One," and a simple notation at the top of the page that says all I need to know: "Stay in the Day."
As I write I am aware of a nagging fear about what my sponsor will say about this blog. Telling her everything is new behavior for me. But so is turning over my will and my life to a Power much bigger than me.
So I will do a 10th Step about my need for approval and my fear of abandonment and, God willing, I'll find another burdensome pattern, however small, effortlessly lifted. Or I will experience the same fears again, and again, ask for insight.
That's what the 10th steps do for me now. They remind me to Stay in the Day and to ask for guidance from something bigger than my will.
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